Red, Like Roses

Outfit Details: vintage dress and coat- Beacon’s Closet, tights and shoes – Target, vintage shoe clips – from my mom.

There’s a funny/scary story that goes with these pictures, depending on how you look at it. I woke up in a horrible mood, due to an onslaught of unhappy events, and I decided to try and brighten my day by wearing this pretty vintage dress while working at home. Sometimes (often) I do that; I get all dolled up just to sit alone in a room and sew.

Well, it didn’t work.

While taking pictures of my dress, a guy walked by and made a really lewd gesture and started saying things to me. I made the mistake of telling him to keep walking, which made him furious. He ranted for quite a bit and then threatened, “I’ll show you what the end of a 9mm looks like when put to your cheek, sweetheart.” He kept saying he was going to come back with a gun and shoot me and Bobby both, then started rummaging in his bag, looking for a knife. Here’s the thing: I deal with crazies all the time. When a guy makes gross remarks, I always say something to put them in their place. I can’t handle disrespect like that, and it’s so sad that any of them think we should be flattered or at the very least, just accept it. I can’t. I should, for my safety, but I have a hard time doing so.

There are so many crazy people like that in my hometown and I unfortunately have the mouth and temper of my mother. If you make sexual remarks about me or anyone I love, I will put you in your place. You yell at me and I don’t back down, I just yell right back. It’s stupid. It’s really, really stupid, because there is always the chance that the person will put a gun to my head and not just make an idle threat. Usually they just talk, but there is always a chance. The funny thing is, there are only two reasons I didn’t yell back: Bobby and that freaking bag the guy was rummaging in.

Bobby’s first instinct was to defend my honor, in that kind and collected way of his, which only made the guy more irritable. I didn’t want him to hurt Bobby and when he started talking about knives and guns and [supposedly] looking for a weapon, I decided it was definitely time to get the heck out of there. We walked away from our apartment so he wouldn’t know where we lived, eventually went to Bobby’s car and then took a drive. I was shaking from both anger and fear. When we got home, I changed into pajamas. The dress will have to cheer me up on another day.

But then I had a slurpee and everything was right in the world!

Oh, and the funny part? I originally didn’t want to tell my mom, because I didn’t want to worry her. I eventually decided to tell her about it, but she interrupted me to tell me that she saw someone who looked just like her best friend’s husband and it was freaking her out. A couple days later, she was having a hard time getting ahold of me on the phone, so when I finally talked to her, she was a little frantic. She said, “All I could think about what that guy telling you he was going to come back and kill you.” I reminded her that she thought seeing her friend’s doppleganger was more pressing than my crazy guy story, to which she replied, “At the time, it seemed more important!”

I love my mom.

Morals of the story:
– Guys are gross
– Don’t argue with crazy people
– Slurpees fix everything
-My mom needs to get her priorities in order.

-Keiko Lynn

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  1. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
    I also have had to put up with crazies like that, but I just end up walking away briskly, without a word said.
    I do really admire the fact that you give these people a piece of your mind, but in this case, I guess it's better safe than sorry. :

  2. Blerg, crazy people are everywhere! I totally know what you mean though…I can't back down. It's not that I want a fight, only that I want those people to know that not everyone is afraid of them and that it's not acceptable to act that way. I worry, the same way you do, that being that way will get me into trouble one day.

    Keep safe! Maybe trust your instinct on when to talk back and when not too. I'd hate for one dude full of, hopefully, empty threats will stop you from being bold woman. 🙂

  3. omg. that's INSANE. i hate being disrespected too, but i don't always react. i usually hurry along in disgust, since you never know who you're dealing with. sigh. i wish people weren't like that. at least you were ok! great outfit!

  4. What a crazy guy!! That would not have at all fun…though it kind of makes for a good story now, you have to admit. 🙂

    I have a picture of you to take into my hairdresser. haha That sounds really weird… I think I may have decided to not get bangs though and go for the length (sort of Miranda Kerr-esque)

  5. I honestly quite admire your boldness in standing up to creeps and other gross guys. I usually get upset, think about all the things I want to say, but ultimately take the passive route and keep it in my head. Good for you for being strong enough to stand up for yourself. But yes, please be safe.

  6. I'm sorry about that incident! At least you had Bobby with you 🙂 I know I'd be totally freaked out if that happened to me. Love your dress by the way!

  7. you are so brave for speaking up! but you know exactly when to back down too. which is equally as important. hope the rest of your week has more sunshine & smiles in it!

    ps: even in your sour mood, you still manage to look pretty darn great 😛

  8. Honey, what an awful experience! I wish you had taken that guy’s photo and gone to the police and reported him. How dare he threaten you with talks of guns and knives?
    Glad you are safe.
    Be very careful and please don’t go back to that street anytime soon. That guy was crazy!
    Better be safe than sorry!

  9. i'm sorry u had to experience that:( what a scary situation! glad u guys are okay! omg, ur mom is too cute:D

    p.s. sometimes i dress up, as well, even when i have nowhere special to go. it cheers me up on a bad day, too:)


  10. :S that's so scary!! i really admire your tenure. sometimes crazies, especially guy crazies (or just gross guys in general, really), seem to find girls much easier targets because we're supposedly weaker or more timid or easier to overpower or whatever… that really pisses me off. 🙁 but i'm glad you and bobby are okay, and if that guy shows his face up again in your area, stick the end of your umbrella into his eyes and blind that bastard.

  11. I too have that same problem. I hate cat calling, once an old gross construction worker yelled out to me "Hey baby" because I was walking home in my kilt…I replied "hi DAD!". It was hilarious because all his construction buddies were laughing at him at that point. I agreee with you, what makes them think we like that. It's not like you were showing any skin or looking like a ho. And for him to be doing that, infront of your boyfriend? Ugh!

  12. UGH, I seriously hate guys like that too. I have a temper as well and will mouth off if I'm angry enough. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has a HUGE temper as well, so I try to be the calm one. Lol. Most of the time, I'm able to stay calm and collected and ignore. Guys/Men like that SHOULD be put in their place. It's just nasty.

  13. i was amazed at how similar this story was to what i've experienced.sounds like i'm just like you,if someone yells at me,i yell back.it's only afterwards i think of the danger i could be in.i've been close to being knocked out before.so from one 'tough girl' to another,maybe it's best we let these lowlives mouth off and remain quiet,if not just for our own safety.it's not right and it sucks,but it'd be awful if anything worse were to happen.stay safe sweetheart x

  14. yes, new york is full of crazies and I hate that. so many creppos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i love that "coat" thingy with the red belt thingy. fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. wow, that was very scary! i never have the courage to say things back, but I always really want to. Even though this one turned out to be a crazy, 99% will certainly be put in their place. Glad you're okay 🙂

  16. That sounds like a horrible experience. I guess I'm lucky the crazies here are mostly harmless.

    BTW that coat is the most beautiful thing I've seen in a while.

  17. that's such a frightening experience, sorry that had to happen to you. at least you handled it relatively well and got home safe (and with a slurpee)! 🙂
    p.s. your coat is quite fabulous

  18. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry something like this has happened to you! You're a lot more brave than I am. I'm usually too timid to shout something back at crazy people. Especially when they start talking about guns and such.

  19. Fabulous. A man makes inappropriate comments to a woman, and when she defends herself suddenly he needs to get a weapon out.

    What is wrong with men?

    You did the right thing by leaving. I probably would've done something stupid and tried to fight him, getting myself stabbed/shot in the process.

  20. Omg, I can totally relate to your post. I go through those types of situations randomly living in not the best neighborhood myself. My fiance is constantly reminding me not to say or do anything because you never what that person may do to you. But I am like you, it is hard to let unacceptable or lewd behavior slide. I have that Asian temper myself! But I am learning restraint. I guess it's more about thinking first, before reacting. But I know it's hard! So glad you and Bobby are safe and sound, and nothing serious happened. On a brighter note, you looked absolutely fabulous in the dress and outfit! 😉

  21. That's pretty scary, I'm glad you two are ok. The most I've had happen when I take photos is catcalls, but I usually just ignore them. Your dress is dramatic and beautiful and I hope you take out again soon and enjoy it. – JoAnn

  22. Oh my…
    You know what? I was looking at the pictures and then the text, and the whole time I was thinking that he was kidding with you! No offence, but actually I just thought that you would end it with: "and then the guy took the gun out of his bag. And guess what? It was only a camera and this is the pictures he took".

    Oh dear.. He's so crazy! I am so happy that nothing happened to anyone of you(you and Bobby of course).

    By the way, I just fell in love with your coat. It's MEZMERIZING! I love how the obi makes the coat look even more dramatic with the colour.

    Be safe.

  23. I am SO glad to hear you and Bobby are ok. The way that guy threatened you in inexcusable. I cannot believe someone would have the audacity to threaten your life over some snarky comment that he initiated. *hugs*

    That jacket is gorgeous beyond belief. You have the best eye for thrift finds!

  24. Gotta love NY. I generally react the same as you do when it comes to crazies but I've never had an experience like yours before.

    I must agree though that slurpees fix everything.
    I can't wait to get one upon my return to NY in January.

  25. Yuck, what a jerk! I’ve had things like that happen to me and when I get really mad I get all shaky and immediately start crying so I can never defend myself. I wouldn’t even worry about losers like that and I’m glad you guys are safe!

    Onto the good part of this post, I love this outfit and that coat is gorgeous! I would never have thought the dress & coat would work so well together but they do!

  26. act more crazy than them – works all the time – once I started barking like a dog at one of those crazy types growling and bareing my teeth – they just walked away! lol

  27. Oh god, that just sounds awful ! That guy looked so gross and crazy, I'm glad you and Bobby are okay.

    By the way, I just love that dress. I hope it would not bring back this bad memory, because you look incredibly gorgeous in its !

  28. wow, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I can relate, as I have had many a similiar experience. This is what think tho: you shoul speak your mind. Men like him (and so much of the world) just wants to keep women quiet. We can't let them win.

  29. What a sucky experience! It's so awesome that you stood up for yourself like that though. Even though it's unsafe someone needs to put those creepy guys in their place. I hope you have a happy & safe rest of the week!!

  30. lovely lovely dress and coat and whole outfit!

    horrible encounter.
    It's insanely frustrating that you have to make decisions like remain quiet when harassed or die in this day and age… ah I ranted upon this subject outoforderdesign.blogspot.com/2009/12/rant-dressing-against-attention.html

  31. Gahhh!! Horrible!!! That's one of the reasons I'm glad I don't live in NYC anymore… especially when you have a dog, people take every opportunity to be confrontational about how you're keeping your dog. My dog wasn't neutered because he was a breeding stud, but people could not seem to wrap their minds around it, and would constantly lash out at me and scream at me to neuter my –ahem– champion Boston Terrier. ANYWAY… I love this look of yours, one of my absolute favorites! I can't believe you got it at Beacon's… I never could find anything good there!

  32. Wow. what an awful experience. I don't understand guys who feel the need to make comments about women like that or even why someone would threaten to hurt another person. I'm glad that you are safe!!! Also, really good thinking walking away from your apartment so that he wouldn't know where you lived.

  33. Ugh. So sorry you had to deal with that! I've been in similar situations and its difficult to decide how much of a scene to cause! Glad you didn't let it ruin your whole day, though.

  34. OMG! that sounds absolutely horrible and the fact that he sayed he would come back and kill you. That would freak me out for the rest of the day. I have had experiences like that too (never threatened) but where guys will stop and say crud things and other crap lewd things. I never understand why guys do that do they really think we are going to respond to comments like and instantly want to fall in love with them. It really boggles me.

    I completely agree with you on Slurpee's that and ice cream which makes everything better in my world. The day just instantly gets better after a good ice cream cone.


  35. Sexually aggressive men are so gross and barbaric to me.

    My father in law can be inappropriate in a not so disgusting way, as he thinks women like it, his wife does. It irritates me and I think things would be different if he had a daughter. I think many men would be different if they had a daughter.

  36. Ooof, that is so scary. New York is really bad when it comes to lewd remarks, and you never get used to it. I usually just keep my iPod in so I can't hear them. But it is unbelievable. Even in a big coat, hat, scarf, etc where you can barely see me, the comments come. I always want so bad to say something but they love the attention so I don't.

    I wish I could take pictures outside of my apt for my blog but it is this very reason that I don't.

  37. This comment is really late, but you should submit this story to hollabacknyc.blogspot.com (hollabacknyc@gmail.com) It's a great site that calls out the prominence of street harassment in New York City, and works in a lot of important ways to fix it, most of all by spreading the word about how scary and pervasive and common and effed up it is. This story, more than most others I've read, gets that point across. I'm the same way, and luckily have never been threatened or worse because of my vulgar and aggressive comebacks to disgusting men, but the fear is always there. Know that you're strong, and you're not alone.