I wouldn’t describe myself as a hopeless romantic — at least not in the real world. I have always been a little too inside my own head to let it float in the clouds for more than a moment. Heavy thoughts, gravity, they both worked against me. Even my dreams were punctuated by lots of questions and doubts and the ever so frustrating “How is this logical? It must be a dream” that has so often woken me from the best scenarios. And once awake, no matter how much the conscious me wanted to go back to the dream state — of, say, that scene under the blankets and laughing with Romeo — sleeping me was always hip to the ruse. You can never go back.
No, I’m not a hopeless romantic; I’m a sometimes frustratingly logical (to the point of indecision) but still cautiously optimistic romantic. I believe in love, have always wanted it, and am happy to have it. But I’m not exactly the kind of girl who can be swept off her feet and whisked away into a whirlwind love story — I mean, shoot, Bobby and I have been together for over a decade and we’re clearly not rushing anything. I love love, but I will forever and always give it the side eye until proven worthy of the name, and I’ve never been in a hurry for the next step. If our love is forever, what’s the rush? We’ll take that step when we are ready — and for those who are always bugging us about it, it will happen. But on our own schedule, so let’s all cool it for a minute;)
The funny thing about it is that I’ve also always been the girl who could fall in love three times a day if staying in for a movie marathon or great tv show. If a character is well fleshed out and tailored to my fancy, I may as well have gone through a full movie montage of dates and important landmarks with them. By the end of the movie or show, I’m certifiably in L-O-V-E love. It’s how I’ve been since I was a kid — I must have fallen in love twice a night, back then. I can count the times I’ve truly been in love on one hand, with a few fingers closed. But the characters — and let me stress that I mean characters, not the actors who play them — I might have to bring my toes in for counting. I wonder why that is?