You’ll scarcely find anyone with a flawless youth, free from awkwardness or teen angst. I am no exception. In elementary school, I had a dead, grey front tooth. When the baby teeth fell out, they were replaced with crooked adult ones, which led to middle school and a mouth full of braces. I had colored rubber bands for every holiday theme and thought Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts were the bee’s knees. Forever the goody-two-shoes, I never strayed from my life on the straight and narrow or succumbed to peer pressure. Despite my wholesome image, I was a troubled child who never quite fit in or found stability. I spent a lot of time feeling utterly defeated and making myself physically sick with worry. I was immersed in depression, but every once in awhile, I would peek my head out for a bit of optimism. I used to describe my mindset as “peptimism” – expecting the worst but forever hoping for the best. In my current state of contentment, I tend to forget all of the negativity. When I look back on my teenage years, it is with fondness. All I can see are big dreams and a lot of love.

I wasn’t surprised to find out that M83’s latest album, Saturdays = Youth, was highly influenced by teenage years. Since its release, it has been a constant on my playlist, not unlike its predecessors (particularly Before the Dawn Heals Us). Trite as it sounds, it could be a soundtrack to my teenage life, with the angsty Graveyard Girl and a secret girl society in Kim and Jessie as the main tracks. It has such a sentimental feeling, even though it’s rather current.

I’m not quite sure why I have such an affinity for M83, but nevertheless, it’s there. After all, they were the soundtrack to my very first fashion show! When I found out they were coming to New York, I was super excited. I don’t go to shows quite as much these days, but I really, really wanted to go to the show. Of course, I made the mistake of waiting to buy my tickets and they ended up selling out. Fail! Thankfully, I have amazing friends (I love you, Kim!) who go out on limbs to make me smile. While I was whining and carrying on about missing the show (seriously, I was being such a baby about it), Kim, who was at work, called her friend and had him find tickets on Craigslist. After many phone calls on Kim’s behalf, she was able to find us three tickets, which Bobby graciously treated us to. Samara, Bobby and I were finally able to get in and just in time! It worked out so nicely, and it was all thanks to Kim, Drew and Bobby. With such a wonderful night (they played all of my favorites – and I have a lot), all of the teenage heartache seemed well worth it. In the end, it only builds character, which is one thing I’m quite confident about. I think the caliber of the company I keep is a testament to that.

Admittedly, I’m caught up in an episode of Lost, right now. I’m not even sure if anything I wrote makes sense or is relevant to anything. I was just typing in between scenes and realized I never posted the outfit pictures from the day of the show. Ramble, ramble, ramble! 

-Keiko Lynn

p.s. To all of my family and friends: I love you! I don’t say that enough.