I’ve talked about this in the past: as an adult, making new friends can be especially difficult. It’s particularly hard when you’re not in a normal workplace or school setting, and though friends of mine have had luck meeting new people through sports, exercise classes, and even friend apps, I’m just not that girl. It’s partly because I am not actively looking for new friends — I have great friends and never feel like I’m missing anything, so that’s probably why something like a friend matchmaking app doesn’t sound appealing. I am not athletic and am more of a work out in the privacy of my own apartment or gym kind of girl (or, you know, not work out at all — ugh! I have to change that). I’ve met people through volunteering but they’re more like acquaintances, because it honestly takes a lot for me to consider someone an actual friend. Once you’re in, you’re in. I’ve only consciously cut ties with one friend in my adult life and it is something that still bothers me to this very day.
I’ve actually made a lot of friends through blogging, though most of them are people I met in the early days, when it seemed like there were about 10 of us and we saw each other at every event and shoot. It’s how I met two of my dearest friends, Christine and Helena, back when we were just a few fresh faced babies trying to figure out what blogging could be. When I think about it, it’s how I’ve made most of my adult friends, even though most of them aren’t bloggers — they work on the other side of things doing PR, marketing, managing, social media, graphic design, photography. In that sense, even in my not-so-normal workplace (which is now my home), I’ve managed to meet some great people.
It became a little harder the older I got, because everyone else seemed to get younger. I find that I have less in common with some of the girls I meet, or I’m weirdly self conscious about my age in comparison to theirs (which is ONLY a thing when I’m at work events!) or I worry that I’m old news, because no one knows who I am and I’m one year away from being 2 age demographic brackets away from most of my peers. Isn’t that wild? These are all self imposed insecurities, and honestly it doesn’t bother me 99% of the time — but it does keep me from being as out there as I used to be. Because I don’t like that side of me. I don’t like doubting myself, comparing myself to others. I don’t like the weird, insecure side that comes out…so I do my own thing.
Somehow that all went out the window when I met Courtney. Her warmth won me over right away and I thought, “We’re going to be friends.” She’s young, confident, cute as a freaking button, incredibly successful, and has a large following — and I hate saying this out loud, but these are all things that would normally make me assume she wouldn’t give me the time of day. That’s both from personal experience with a few not so nice people (the exception to the rule, not the rule), and from pesky insecurities that are merely a reflection of my own self-doubt. But I’m glad I didn’t let me own weird insecurities stop me from talking with Courtney, because we clicked and I love having her as a friend. She is kind, hard working, talented, generous, loves Disney, and has a special needs dog named WAFFLES. Her fiancé and Bobby also hit it off, and it’s fun to have other couples friends in our lives. Especially ones who love Disney and their dog as much as we do.
This is all to say that in the end, meeting and becoming friends with Courtney made me realize that the only thing holding me back was me. I’ll try and let them decide what they think of me instead of preemptively assuming they think nothing of me. I’m pretty certain most of you follow her already, but if you don’t: follow Color Me Courtney and her Disney account Color Me Magic!
p.s. After these photos, we went to lunch at Jack’s Wife Freda and as we left, they very sweetly said “Thank you for brightening up the room!” It made my day.