I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut. The problem isn’t for lack of ideas; I have a full list of those that I’ve been meaning to get around to. And the problem isn’t lack of time, either. I’ve been home for five months, now (wow, that is shocking to say — type? — out loud) and have plenty of time to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do. But the problem is…I just don’t want to. I’m struggling a bit. But whenever I get the urge to shoot something, I always feel a lot better, happier, like I’ve accomplished something. I just have to push myself to start.

Considering I’ve struggled with depression most of my life and 2019 was already the absolute worst, I’ve handled the whole quarantine thing a lot better than I expected. I miss my babies Miku and Vester so much, and being stuck at home made me deal with my new reality rather than just distracting myself. I’m so lucky to have Bobby for company because he’s the best partner and keeps me from wallowing in sorrow for too long. He’s just human sunshine, I swear! But like anyone, I have good days and bad. One day I’m fine and chugging along, sewing and writing and editing and watching The Golden Girls for the thousandth time, learning Japanese, organizing my closet…anything to keep me occupied. The next, I’m in my pajamas and doing next to nothing. There just isn’t much of a middle ground.

Sleepwalking in Selkie Puff Dress

On this particular day, it started out as a pajamas and do nothing sort of day, but then I got this sudden spark of creativity just before bed, while listening to Sleep Walk after my shower. Instead of waiting until the next day and possibly losing momentum, I quickly did my makeup, threw my hair on top of my head, put on this Selkie puff dress, and set up my strobes to do this shoot. If you check my BTS photoshoot highlights on my instagram, you can see how I set up this shoot. The hazy, prismatic effect is practical, not editing: I use iridescent cellophane and a magenta gel on the hair light.

I even got Bobby to pose for a retro prom-style portrait with me, because why not?

Thanks, Sleep Walk, for giving me the creative spark I needed. But no thanks to the actual sleepwalking that I’ve been doing, lately. That’s a story for another day!