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Outfit Details:
Pendleton Glacier Stripe Blanket Coat (c/o Pendleton)

J.Crew tissue turtleneck striped shirt (also have it in solid colors, and it’s on sale!)

mustard corduroy skirt (exact — also available in other colors)

Alberto Fermani “Lissandra” boots (mine are very old but these are some good options: here, here). Try Sam Edelman for more affordable options and Stuart Weitzman for a worthy investment.  

Urban Decay 714 lipstick

The dichotomy between grief and gratitude

Fall seemed to last all of two days, so we went chasing it wherever we could: to get fresh air without chattering teeth, to catch the leaves before they fell, to drink hot apple cider and heal our aching hearts.

We’re hurting, still. But we have each other, we have fantastic friends and family, and so we smile.

It’s a strange dichotomy to feel cursed and blessed all at once, to feel like the cards are stacked against and also so grateful for the love surrounding. It’s also strange to grieve somewhat publicly about one thing while being so private about another, but some stories are not just mine to tell. I still haven’t been able to put my greatest sadness into words; losing Miku and Vester tore me to pieces and I’ve been struggling to put myself back together.

It also taught me that the “worst” and most horrific of my worries affected me so much less than the heartache of losing my purest loves — and I have been mad at myself for wasting so many days crying and screaming and dwelling on the things I had no control over when I could have been focused on being more present with my happy little family while we had the chance. I know being mad at myself does nothing, so I’m just trying to move forward, but the guilt lingers.

I know I’m being so vague, but again. Not just my story to tell // some things are better left off the internet.

Suffice to say, 2019 can go straight to the depths of the smelliest garbage. In the meantime, Bobby are surrounding ourselves with only people and things that lift us up. How lucky we are to have so much of that. And my goodness, I’ve never felt more thankful for him. Even in his saddest times, he’s pure sunshine; and even in my deepest grief, I feel gratitude.